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My husband Jeff and I were married August 27, 1993, and we decided to wait a while before having children, as he was nearly 27 at the time and I was 20. In June of 2000, after having been off Depo-Provera for nearly a year, I took a pregnancy test and I was thrilled when it was positive! I was happily telling family, friends, and co-workers. At my first doctor's appointment, they could not hear the heartbeat, they figured it was too early and gave me a January 18, 2001 due date going according to my LMP. The next appointment--still nothing. I was getting a bit worried. They scheduled an ultrasound for August 4. On July 23 Jeff and I were visiting my parents when my dad died...he'd been sick for nearly 30 years, and he died believing he was going to be a grandfather. He'd wanted to try to hang in there so he could see his grandchild. The following week Jeff and I decided to go to Niagara Falls and get our minds off everything. We were there when the spotting began. We cut our trip short on August 2 and headed back to Ohio. He kept telling me to just rest and not move any more than I had to. I was spotting bright red blood and things did not look good. I just wanted to get home. At around 5 am on the morning of August 3, 2000, I had bad cramping. It was intermittent...off a minute, on a minute, and I was soaking pads like crazy. I woke Jeff up and got him to take me to the ER. I was put into a room with a huge pad underneath me to catch the blood. All I kept thinking was, I did not want to miscarry in the toilet! I mean, if the baby was dead, I at least wanted to give it SOME dignity! Two hours later an OB saw me...and he caught the empty sac as I was delivering it. He told me what it was, laid everything out on the table for me, asked me did I want to see it. I said no, as I was too upset at the time. He was really nice and everything. He said that since I'd delivered everything, I wouldn't require a D&C unless I requested it, and he went on to let me know of the risks involved--like puncturing the uterus. I declined. He then went on to tell me that 50% of all first pregnancies end in miscarriage, a lot of them the result of a blighted ovum, which I'd had. The good news was, should I become pregnant again, I had about an 80% chance of carrying to term. I did not need the D&C, as I'd stopped bleeding later that morning. The strange thing is, I usually have 38 day cycles and my period started 38 days later! The good news is, right now I am almost 24 weeks pregnant with a boy, and my due date is January 1, 2002. So far the doctor says perfect pregnancy. The only cloud on my horizon now is the fact that I'd had a LEEP in 1995 and I have a slight chance for premature delivery, so I'm on maternity leave now. This pregnancy has eased the pain of that loss. I hardly think about it now; I did all my crying at the time of the loss and I've pretty much moved on. Even now my son is kicking and doing I don't know what in there! Staying out of trouble I hope! :) Alexandra 09/06/01 |
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