 |
  My name is Lindy, as I write this I am 33 years old and have been married to my husband Shawn for 1 1/2 years. This is the first marriage for both of us, and neither of us has had children before. We talked about having kids from the time we first got married, and were more being purposely careless than actually trying to have a baby (sometimes protection, sometimes not). When I first discovered I was pregant I was a little freaked out--what a life altering move, to be totally responsible for another life! I quickly became thrilled and we began planning for our new arrival. On October 14, 2000 (two days before my first wedding anniversary) I woke up very early that morning to discover cramping. It was worse than I had experienced during the beginning of the pregnancy, but since the OB kept telling me that cramping is normal I didn't think much about it. After an hour it was still there, so I got up and went into the bathroom--and discovered I was bleeding bright red blood. We immediately went to the emergency room, and I was a hysterical person who couldn't even get my name out. I was told by a very kind nurse that it could go either way and we would have to wait and see. They brought in the on-call u/s tech and did an ultrasound right there. At that time they could see a sac without a baby in it. The tech said it "may" be a Blighted Ovum and told me to talk to my OB Dr. I was then told that I would continue to miscarry as I went home and that the pregnancy was not "viable". I was instructed to contact my OB on Monday. I called my OB and was told by the nurse she would be unavailable until Tuesday. The nurse was not particularily helpful, but said she would call me the next day after talking to the Dr. (apparently me talking to her was out of the question). I waited, and waited, but no call. About 2:30 I called the Dr. again and the same nurse couldn't remember who I was and finally said "oh yeah, you are on my call-back list". She also couldn't read the Dr.'s handwriting, but finally decided that we were to schedule a D&C "just in case" and wouldn't get me into see the Dr. any sooner than Friday! On Friday it was decided that I hadn't expelled enough tissue and the D&C was scheduled for Monday. I asked about it being a Blighted Ovum and was told very coldly that no baby was seen in the sac so, yes, it was. My Sister-in-Law is a RN at the same hospital/clinic and was horrified at how unhelpful they were and more so to the time taken before they even saw me--I guess waiting over a week increases the chance of infection. Needless to say, I am not returning to this particular Dr.! For anyone reading this who is facing a D&C, it really was not as bad as I expected. It gave me closure that I truly needed. I was given an IV and a local and woke up when it was over with a purple bruise on the inside of my lip but otherwise feeling ok. I arrived at 8AM and was home by 1:30PM. The odds of complications are only about 4% (as reported to me by the OB Dr.), and I had no problems whatsoever. I was pretty groggy for the rest of the day, but with rest felt much better the next day. I returned to work two days later. I think everyone deals with their grief in a situation such as this in different ways. This site was originally posted on Tripod (until they replaced the entire site with someone else's files and my site was lost) in November until late January. In that short time I heard from a lot of brave women who were doing everything in their power to make sense of what had happened and find peace with their loss. I coped by posting on the miscarriage board at INCIID and spent hours combing the internet for information. I shut out my husband--who, I can now see, was hurting himself--and sat at the computer crying very easily. The best advice I could give is to remember that you are not alone. God Bless, Lindy Follow-up: As I write this on May 15, I am 20 weeks pregnant. I had an Ultrasound yesterday, which showed that we are having a boy! Everything looked good, and it appears that for all of the heartache listed above...there is hope and a plan for everything. I know how a person's heart can break after such a loss--but there is hope, and I wish only the best for those of you pregnant or hoping to conceive. Additional follow-up: My son Liam was born on September 16, 2001. He was two weeks early, and weighed in at 8 pounds, 0 ounces and measured 19 1/4 inches long. I still grieve for the baby I lost, but believe this helps ease the pain. He is a beautiful baby, and would not be here if my loss had not happened (the pregnancies would have overlapped)--and I cannot imagine life without him. He is a blessing, and a miracle. Follow-up 10/30/03: My daughter Kinsey was born on 6/19/03 weighing in at 9 pounds 4 ounces and measuring 19 inches. I found myself feeling a little apprehensive this time around also, but not nearly as frighted of a repeat as I was with the last pregnancy. My lost little angel still is very important to me, and I pray he or she is with God and happy.  |